


Little Ember

by DeathKitten1120



Category: Na - Fandom
Genre: Dark Lit, Dark Poetry, Short Story, Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 10:29:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9543824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathKitten1120/pseuds/DeathKitten1120
Summary: Misery, in the purest form, can take form outside your body. In the case of this true short story, it is a little ember.





	

Little Ember  
I feel numb. That's the only way to explain it. My world crashing down around me, just like the rain falling from the sky, and I am numb. I like it, though. It's better than the alternative of the gut wrenching pain I feel whenever I involuntarily let my guards down for the slightest second before the blissful curtain of numb washes over again. It's better than the miserable feeling of losing the love of your life and, in the process, half of yourself, all the while knowing you can't do anything about it. But, I'm told misery and numbness is just a mental state. Ironic I can laugh at that. I can hear the idle of my car, like a rhythmic purr of a sleeping lion, feel the draft of the cold, damp breeze coming into the half open back window, feel the drying moistness on my cheeks that still burn my eyes and make it hard to see clearly, and see, through the rain, a small, glowing ember on the pavement from a cigarette my brother, my best friend, the had thrown to the side as he stormed into the house. I feel, not so much an attachment, but a connection to the little ember and its fight to stay alive, even as the rain ruthlessly beats down on it. It astonishes me that the little ember wasn't instantly put out when it was mercilessly thrown to the side, into a habitat that would inevitably see its death, as if it were nothing more than garbage, and I understand it. Alone, I lean my head forward so my forehead is leaned against the glass of the window and I drawn back the heavy, weighted curtain to release my pent up emotions. Tears flood down my cheeks like a flash flood in a water desperate desert, but I don't make a sound. I was taught long ago to hind my pain so as no one would see my weakness, and so I wept silently, just as the ember on the ground wept silently knowing there was no escape from our ultimate fate. I wonder who taught him. Feelings surging through my like electricity through a power line, but I focus on the little ember through the haze of tears in my eyes as his glow burns lower and lower. The rain has came down on both of us mercilessly tonight and it wasn't going to let up, no matter how hard we pray, but he knows that and I know he knows that as well. Emotions are trying to choke me, cut off my air and force me to fight them back, but I don't want to. Like the little ember, I know how rough life can be. I've been through the worst of it and, up till two weeks ago, Id handled everything thrown at me before I threw it back. Before two weeks ago, I had my life in line and I, not so much was in control of it, was managing to find a happiness and peace inside of myself. Before two weeks ago, I was able to smile and laugh knowing it was true and not fake as it is now. Two weeks ago, my heart was torn mercilessly out of my chest and I was left to bleed from the eternal, never healing wound that seemed to hurt more with every passing day. Two weeks ago, I was ripped in two. The other, better half of me left me in the dust to forever stay with my one true love. All I'm left with now is everything he despises, and everything that despises me. Every characteristic he tried to make me bury for my own well being. Every self conscious thought and every doubt. Every shield put up to keep the world that thrashed me around and beat me into the ground at bay. But I don't blame my better half, Id leave me to be with him too and as I watch this little ember barely holding on to life, I realize he u understands that too. When he was flicked away like lint on a shirt, he lost half of himself too, the half that will survive. The half that will absorb whatever abuse the rain pounds into him and that will let it evaporate away later. His other half will survive, as will mine, but we are caught, trapped, in our situations that will eventually put us out, extinguish us, for no other reason than we where created. My tears drying on my face, my eyes burning, my breath lightly fogging the window, a raw feeling in my heart, I focus on this little ember not five feet from me. Such a hard fight for what seems like such a long time, just to be put out by uncontrollable elements. As I watch the ember finally losing the battle and dimming down to the point it's almost dead, I want to tell him I understand. I understand why the fight must end, even after such a long battle. In the end, there always has to be a victor. All the sudden, the ember sparks bright and jumps. He seems to slow in the air, memorizing me, before he starts to fall. I want to reach out and catch him before he falls to the pavement again, knowing if he does it will be over. The hard fight in the rain and the final burst of light, all nothing. The ember falls fast and lands not two feet from my car, in a pool of water that starts extinguishing the ember and dissolving the ash. I feel a well of emotion as the embers soft glow finally goes out for good and as I finally realize the true destiny of our lives. I finally realize I'm at that point of falling from my spark of life, from my last hope of survival, and I know I am falling fast. I just hope that when I land it will be in a best of soft, dry grass instead of a pool of water. I hope I fall into a new life instead of being dissolved by it.


End file.
